Dear Empress- Help Me Choose Between 2 Men

Written by Empress Magazine /// Find in Love, Sex, Etc

heal-relationship I need some help in deciding between two men, help!

Guy A

There is a guy that I’m completely infatuated with. He is everything I physically want in a man: tall dark and handsome (I know, very cliché). When I look at him, my heart races, I’m nervous and literally in a trance. It sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Although this man is everything I want physically, he lacks the substance to really make him a good boyfriend/husband. We have fun together but we also bicker and argue. I think he is selfish and too self absorbed (and maybe he thinks the same of me?). When we are together, my ego is ALIVE. When I’m with him, I feel the need to defend myself and I always have my guard up. I feel a little insecure and sometimes wonder if I am as pretty to him as the other girls he dates. Even with all the negative aspects of our relationship, I still am strongly attracted to him. Part of me knows that there is something deeper behind the jerk behaviors. No matter who else I date I always think about him. We never were in an exclusive relationship but I always wonder how it would be between us if we ever decided to get serious.

Guy B

Then there is this other guy that I have known for a while. He is very handsome and the perfect gentlemen. He has the qualities to make him a great boyfriend and husband. I can talk to him about anything, he listens to me – overall I would consider him a great friend. My attraction for him comes from a deeper place than my ego. He makes me want to be a better person overall.

I am ready for a relationship and want to pursue something serious with either Guy A or Guy B. Should I choose a relationship full of passion and drama or a relationship full of friendship and consistency (not as exciting)?

- Anonymous

What should Ms. Anonymous do? Leave your comment below.

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Comments (6)

6 Monday, 01 March 2010 22:24

Ms.Lotus

Guy B...The things that are best for us are the ones that we are the least interested in. Hence, this is why all the girls in high school chase the "playa"...knowing damn well that the last thing that he's looking for is commitment. Consistency is preparation for serious relationships and even marriage. Fly above all the drama!

5 Friday, 26 February 2010 02:47

afroperm

@Dori G I do agree with you. Alot of guys have their guard up in the beginning of relationships. We sign them off as being jerks but they may actually be great guys. Then again, who has the time? Show me who you are , be real and move on.

It feels like I contradicted myself lol but o well :)

4 Friday, 26 February 2010 01:44

Dori.G

Guy A. You never dated him exclusively to figure out who he is at the core. What if he's putting his guard up too? What if the "relationship A" is different from the "fooling around A".. you never know until you take the leap. I'm a big believer in passion and emotion..

3 Friday, 26 February 2010 01:05

afroperm

Guy A is the fun guy but Guy B is the guy who will marry you. You never want to be with a jerk but then again, do you really know him? The relationship seems to be superficial. Both of you aren't letting the wall down, so neither one of you will know how each other is.

Guy B seems more dependable but he is probably a bore. Maybe you can find the qualities you like in Guy A and find them in Guy B? It will take work but it is all about will power.

At the end of the day, I feel like the guy who will be serious with you is the guy who is not that exciting or maybe attractive. However, there is something about him that you are attracted to. Figure it out and improve on it, and Guy B will end up being better than Guy A...I think :)

2 Thursday, 25 February 2010 23:43

Yani

I say Guy B, you have a deeper level connection with him and I think that is very important to have when you are considering a companionship with someone. Guy is is pure superficial...if u choose him it will be a short lived fun relationship.

1 Thursday, 25 February 2010 15:07

Michelle B

I think you should go for the good guy. It sounds like Guy A is a jerk. You are attracted to him for superficial reasons...those reasons won't lead to a loving and lasting relationship...